CBN.com - So you want to use your gifts for the Lord? Then get prepared to be humbled!
I say this because I have been on my face many times before the Lord -- regrettably, usually only after I have fallen from my ivory tower and tripped over my not-too-cleverly veiled words of judgement and arrogance. No matter how you phrase it, the "I am right, and you are wrong" attitude doesn't make for graceful steps before the Lord.
Several days ago I had another knee-bending experience.
I was all pepped up to sing with the single's worship team at church Sunday night, something I do once a month with great joy and fervor and, admittedly, much pride, and I was feeling rather cocky about the talents God has given me. Thinking more highly than I ought, I assured myself, "These guys are really blessed to have me on the worship team."
I arrived late, only to find that no one was there -- no band, no backup singers, no worship leader, just a group of young kids practicing a couple of original songs. I waited an hour and still no one. It wasn't so much the time I "wasted" that upset me. No, it was this knowledge: after calling the appropriate authority to see just what went wrong, I learned that I might not be needed to help lead worship.
WHAT?! They don't need ME? How dare they not want me? I was not about to hang around just so some fancy worship leader could tell me to go home! So I left, feeling justified at my attitude and actions. I wasn't sure if I was coming back. I admit, with much shame, that I was offended.
When I called my boyfriend to tell him the "horrible, inconsiderate" way I had been treated, I realized that my attitude needed help! It dawned on me that by not going to that Sunday night meeting, I was not only being immature, but I was also harboring bitterness. So somewhat reluctantly I went, knowing full well that I would have to worship God like the regulars -- in my seat, instead of up in the spotlight where all the really spiritual people worship.
Despite my earlier attitude, the Holy Spirit showed up in a big way that night. As I watched the musicians play before the Lord, I realized that not only was I not needed up there, but I would have likely messed things up if I had been up there. I wouldn't have been worshipping the risen Savior. I would have been worshipping worship. I would not have sought the Lord. I would have only sought to take His gifts. This realization compelled me to repent. But God wasn't done with me yet.
One of the last songs we sang was Matt Redman's inspiring "The Heart of Worship" One particular phrase of that song resonated in my spirit so much that I broke before the Lord. It says, "I'm coming back to the heart of worship, and it's all about you, it's all about you, Jesus. I am sorry, Lord, for the thing I have made it, when it's all about you, it's all about you, Jesus."
That's exactly right. It's all about Jesus.
Worship isn't about you or I, although we can wrongly believe that it is. Service to the Lord is not about the great things we do for Him. God chooses to use broken vessels, yes, but remember: He chooses us first. The story begins and ends with Him, which is why His name is the Alpha and the Omega. We are but the filling, sandwiched in between the loaves of His hands. That is all.
What right do we have to ever be offended? God said that He would be "the stone that causes men to stumble and the rock that makes them fall" (Romans 9:33). How true that can be when our hearts aren't right before Him. Believers in Christ, we can't afford to stumble because of our own pride.
Before pride gets a hold of you, do what is most uncomfortable, just as I had to do that Sunday night: lay out your sin before those whom you have offended -- yes, out in public. Proclaim your sins. And make it plain. God's grace will overwhelm you, and He will meet you where you are with an abundance of mercy.
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